My three-year-old son wants the $99 teenage mutant ninja turtle and a stripper for Christmas.

December is an interesting month. It's the only time that I turn off satellite and turn on terrestrial to toggle back-and-forth listening to Christmas songs. It's the time of year that I actually look forward to Mariah Carey and can even tolerate remakes of other Christmas songs, when remakes typically infuriate me. During the month of December, on my hour-long commute to the office I will indulge in "Feed the World" immediately followed by "Mele Kalikimaka" without a breath in between. I find nothing funnier than the Christmas card guy in the 12 Pains of Christmas and if you don't agree that Bruce Springsteen's "Santa Claus is coming to town" is the greatest thing ever we seriously can't be friends.

Aside from one-man-band Christmas caroling in the car, I also enjoy a good holiday light display. So here's where this holiday season gets awkward. I pick up my son and in an effort to engage him, I create a game to see who can find Christmas lights on the drive home. Little entheustic shouts from the backseat ring out: There! And over there! as we journey home. We are enjoying the ride through the neighborhoods when we reach the darkness of the stretch of a local bridge that connects the current town we are in to our own. Given the lack of homes, I call half time for the game and turn up the Christmas tunes. Suddenly I hear: And there! over Wham's "Last Christmas".

What? Where? 

Over there! Christmas lights! That's my favorite! came from a spirited voice in the backseat.  

I turned my head towards the only light in the area. There it stood. A rival to the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, in all its LED splendor, decorated with a candy red heel and green olive placed in a "holiday spirit"- was the Just Enuff  "Gentleman's Club" Lounge sign. 

Suddenly we were driving in a "Silent Night" as my son waited for me to agree. Yep, I managed to mutter and over the bridge we went.